Monday, August 13, 2012

.honesty.


Photobucket

When I first started this blog, I had envisioned it as a vehicle for reconciling my insatiable love of all things domestic and my passion for feminism and what that meant for my identity.  Mostly, I've veered away from the political and have instead focused on crafting, baking and whatnot.  However, I've now reached an unexpected point in my life where I find myself needing an outlet to reflect upon my current situation and to share my struggles, both internal and external.

When I met my partner almost a decade ago, we were both somewhat shocked when we realized that the effect of simply being together had inspired in us a desire to have children.  I had never wanted children, and granted, I was only in my early twenties, but I saw children as a sure-fire way to stifle my career (hah!) and that just maybe, I wasn't cut out for the whole parent-thing.  I was also overwhelmed with a certain sense of feminist-guilt, that I wasn't being radical enough in my seemingly hetero-normative lifestyle.  Now I wanted to children?  It's not that I don't think, or didn't think, that feminists could or should have children, but that having children was a particular brand of femininity that I wanted no part of.  And then I met my partner, and for the first time, I think I understood what 'biological drive' meant.  Being in our early twenties, however, we both wisely agreed that we should finish schooling and secure some semblance of a career before embarking on parenthood.  Besides, there was no rush, right?

I've always been fairly brazen about certain aspects of my biology.  Part of what my feminist identity means to me is that a woman's biology should not be a source of shame or embarrassment; purchasing tampons should not be a painful or humiliating experience.  And yet, the longer we try to start a family, the more part of me wants to hide under a rock and retract all announcements of, "we're trying to start a family".  A painfully recurrent sentiment I hear from other women who are trying to conceive is, "why didn't anyone tell me this was going to be so hard?"  If our sex-ed classes had taught us anything, it was that the moment you so much as think of discontinuing birth control, you will miraculously find yourself  "in the family way".  The longer that I'm on this journey though, the more I realize that there is a wealth of information about reproduction that is not only not common knowledge, but certainly not discussed.  It is estimated that 16% of heterosexual Canadian couples will experience infertility, according to the soon to be defunct Assisted Human Reproduction Canada. Miscarriage occurs somewhere between 10-20% before the second trimester.  Once a woman hits 35, her reproductive capacities start to do a swan dive.  I'd never heard these statistics before we'd started to try to start a family.  Now, these facts occupy a large corner of my mind and pop up into the forefront of my thought with annoying regularity.

"Stop stressing and it will happen" is a phrase that makes me seethe.  Well-meaning individuals will dispense this advice along with, "it will happen when its mean to happen."  This 'advice' is infuriating for several reasons.  Firstly, events do not occur because they are "meant to happen".  The universe does not give a shit about you.  Events occur due to the laws of physics and probability, not because I calmed down, made a dream-board, and thought positively.  Obviously, being a complete stress-case will not improve one's situation, but ignoring issues will not simply make them disappear either.  Secondly, what works for some may not work for others.  Just because your cousin got pregnant without trying does not mean that everyone will get pregnant without trying.  An ovum has a shelf life of between 12 and 24 hours after it springs forth from its ovary.  Sperm, if they are working properly, have a shelf life of about 72 hours, give or take.  On average, a couple trying to conceive has a 20% chance each month.  So, yes, some planning is actually involved, specifically if you haven't had success after the first few months.  Finally, being told to "stop stressing," is stressing me out. The feelings of failure can be overwhelming some days, and then to top it of, I'm failing at being a positive ray of sunshine?  "The Secret" can kiss my barren-ass.

So, there.  Its public knowledge.  We are experiencing technical difficulties.  We are the 16% of Canadian couples.  We are struggling with infertility.


Wednesday, February 29, 2012

.fizzy flowers.

I think my love of flower-flavoured confections started with my Mom. In fact, I know that's where it started. She loves these tiny, jujubeshaped, chewy, rose-flavoured candies called Soap Gums, and often, as a kid on the hunt for sugar, they were the only treat to be found. Eventually, I grew to love not just Soap Gums, but other floral-infused sweets like violet pastilles and rose-flavoured Turkish delight. Over time, my love of all things flowery grew. I make a mean batch of lavender short bread, and simply adore flower and herbal flavoured sparkling beverages that are sold in gourmet and high-end grocers. However, I detest spending good money on products that are easily made at home, and floral sparkling waters are often only sold in single serve bottles and cost more than an average can of pop. I decided to try making my own floral sparkling water, and I was quite pleased with the results.

Rose Sparkling Water

Ingredients

1 cup rose water (found in middle eastern grocers or in the 'ethnic' food aisle)

1 cup organic cane sugar

1 squeeze bottle

sparkling water

Step 1: bring the rose water to a boil and immediately stir in the sugar. Continue stirring until the sugar is dissolved; do not allow to boil. Once completely dissolved, remove from heat and let cool.

Step 2: Pour syrup into a reusable squeeze bottle

Step 3: add a tablespoon (or more, depending on your tastes) to a glass and top with sparkling water. Garnish with lime.

I usually keep lemon-lime sparkling water in the house, and I found that it worked well with the syrup. The syrup should keep for up to 2 weeks, if not more, in the fridge.


Tuesday, January 31, 2012

.tomato dowsing for spring.

On the heels of a surprisingly mild winter (despite Weather Canada's deep freeze forecast), a tentatively mild spring seems to be approaching us West-Coasters. The unpredictable nature of living on the coast can make planning for your garden a bit tricky.

Last year, garden centers were practically bare on May Long Weekend, a holiday that usually marks the true beginning of gardening season. The season never really took off either; my tomatoes started to produce in early August and lasted well into November, which resulted in some rather mealy fruit. Other years, spring's first crocuses have popped up in mid-February. What's a lay-gardener with a penchant for the nightshade family to do?

Given the fairly balmy winter, I've decided to throw caution to the wind this year and start my tomatoes a little early. The recommendation is to start tomatoes indoors 6-8 weeks before the last frost, which according to my mother's almanac is in May. Now, last May was unseasonably chilly, but for those of us hugging the shoreline, a frost was nowhere to be found. As much as I may not buy into a 'gut feeling', I'm going with my coastal intuition this year and follow my internal planting guide. With a bright, south facing kitchen window, the worst case scenario for my tomatoes is an extra week or two hanging out in my breakfast nook*.

*Also known as my kitchen/dining room/recording studio.

Friday, December 23, 2011

.gifts from the heart.

I love gifts. I love giving them, and I love receiving them. I love hunting them down around town, trying to find just the right sentiment for just the right person. I love making gifts specifically for a certain individual. I love wrapping them in reused gift wrap, or in shiny new gift bags. Gift giving is the sauce. So when people decry Christmas as an over-commercialized, materialistic, capitalist holiday, I feel slightly wounded.

Growing up, Christmas was never just about the gifts. Christmas was a magical, glowing heart in the middle of the dark, unyielding winter. There were cookies to bake, ornaments to make and hang, and seemingly unlimited Christmas specials to watch repeatedly. I know it's cliche to say so, but Christmas was a manifestation of magic for me. My mom had me convinced that Santa's elves were out and about, checking Mr. Claus' naughty'n'nice list one last time, and tinkling bells were evidence of the elves presence. Gifts were merely a cherry on top of my month-long magic sundae.

I never quite understand why those who deride the giving of gifts don't simply opt out, or change their own gift giving and getting habits. This year, I set a limit on the money I'd spend on gifts for each person, choosing tokens that were more of 'toppers' than anything else. Then, I baked three types of sweets and tucked them inside tins and placed each memento on top. Next year, I might not spend anything, or I might not bake anything. The point is that no one is twisting my arm to engage in gift giving. I choose to participate because I absolutely revel in the delight of the receivers, and in the winter months, we all need a bit of cheer.

A sour friend once snarled, "why only at Christmas? Why only once a year?". I view the holidays as such: I love cheesecake, and will usually pick it over any other dessert, but it's a special treat. If I ate it everyday, or even every week, it would cease to be satisfying. Instead of looking forward to a creamy treat, I would probably start gagging at the thought of one more serving. Christmas is a rich, delicious treat. I look forward all year to savoring every carol and light filled moment, just as I look forward to constructing the perfect Halloween costume, or planning the perfect vacation. Gift giving or receiving is only what you make of it.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

.first cocoa of winter.

There's nothing like a mug of hot cocoa on a cold, damp winter morning, in a not-so-well-insulated house. With the longest night of the year behind us, a long, chilly winter still lays ahead. I don't have time to wait for my house to heat up, or for spring to arrive, so I make large batches of "instant" cocoa and store it in a large tub. This recipe is quick and easy, and tastes better than any store bought variety. A cup of this sweet treat is sure to warm you to your toes faster than your furnace will!

Easy Instant Cocoa
5 cups powdered milk
3 cups sugar
3/4 cup powdered sugar
1 cup cocoa
1/4 tsp salt

- Mix 4 tbsps mix with boiling water in a mug, stir, and revel in the deliciousness!

Sometimes I add cinnamon to the mix, or tiny marshmallows. Or, if you like a more fiery brew, like my friend Chris, try adding some dried chilies!

Monday, December 12, 2011

.The Holidays.


Full disclosure: I fucking love Christmas. Hence, this entire post will be dedicated to that most sparkly, rum soaked, turkey stuffed of holidays.

There are many reasons why I love Christmas. The most simple reason being that the time of year evokes warm and fuzzy childhood memories of a simpler time in my life, when the most pressing issues on my mind were whether or not Santa knew about that vase I broke

(but successfully hid), and if I should change out of my snow-suit into dryer apparel.
In recent years (oh, say, the last 10 or so), Christmas has taken on a much more "adult" appeal: mulled wine and spiced rum (more on the rum later...), baking your own choice of Christmas cookies, booze-soaked crafting session, and decorating your tree however you want. There's something magical, even as an adult, about running around and preparing for gatherings, however small or informal. I still peek out the window every morning hoping to see a snow-covered west-coast lawn.


My current, favourite holiday treat is decidedly hot-buttered rum. I've posted and professed my love for mulled wine, and the warm, grapey beverage still has a spot in my heart. However, with one of the coldest winters on record bearing down on us, I needed something with a little more "stank". The best thing about my current recipe, is that it can be made in advance and refrigerated, either in a mason jar, or, rolled into a log.

Bunny's Hot Buttered Rum
  • 1/2 cup softened butter
  • 2 cups demerara sugar
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp nutmeg
  • pinch ground clove
  • pinch salt
  • Sailor Jerry's Rum
  • boiling water

Mix butter, sugar and spices together. I use my hands to get the job done. Pack mixture into sterilized mason jar, or roll into a log and wrap in wax paper and refrigerate.

Add about 2 tablespoons of the mixture and add 1 - 1 1/2 ounce rum to a mug, and top with boiling water.

Enjoy!


Thursday, April 14, 2011

.scratching the consumer-bug itch.


It's Spring! (At least that's what I'm told...hail/snow suggests otherwise) Spring means cleaning! Spring is fresh! Spring is flowers! Spring is forgetting about how much money you blew (and still owe) at Christmas! Spring is interior design magazines tempting you with their vibrant and fresh colour palettes! Spring is Ikea notifying you of their new spring and summer products! Spring is...still a time of year where I find myself wishing for non-essential material goods that I cannot afford. However, if you're like me, you probably have a few cans of spray paint laying around, or chances are you know someone who does have a few cans.

Repainting old crap to make it seem new again is nothing new, but it can fill that desire to "start anew" with shitty consumer products marketed at home decor junkies like myself. Spray paint is cheap and as I previously mentioned, you probably have access to a few cans, and if you don't, a can will only set you back a few bucks. In addition to having a few cans of paint already in your possession, you probably have old yard furniture, end tables, or any other number of surfaces/decorative items collecting dust in your house/rusting in your shed. If you don't have anything to give a face lift, a quick spin around your neighborhood on garbage day (especially in spring) is sure to yield some forlorn piece of furniture begging to be re-purposed.


I found two old plant stands left behind by a previous tenant at the side of my house and two cans of lime green all-purpose rust-proof spray paint in my cupboard. If you wanted to do things "right", you could start by sanding away any rush and giving your item a quick wipe. I'm lazy, and chose to spray my stands without the benefit of a scrub. I'm using my stands in the garden, so they don't need to be perfect. I hauled the stands out into the driveway, gave them each one, quick coat and let them dry. 30 minutes later, I had two, "brand-new" plant stands for my yard and my consumer bug completely squashed.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

.Memories of Summer. Peachy Cupcakes.


Time and time again, I hear from people who live elsewhere in Canada, or have experienced winter in the more eastern climes of Canada, that here on the west coast, we don't really comprehend the concept of 'winter'. And time and time again, I beg to disagree. Our winters may not be white, or have wind chill factors of -45 C, but they are gray, dark, wet and long. I've met enough people who have come from eastern provinces to dwell in the west, who after 20-30 or so days of rain declare that they would trade places with anyone in a Toronto deep-freeze for a chance to escape the perpetual damp and drip that is a west coast winter.

With sunshine a distant memory, you need to find ways of coping until the rains of winter and spring give way to the vast lushness of a west coast summer, when fruit from the interior is cheap and plentiful. Frozen fruit is one way to remind yourself that the soggy weather will eventually give way to more pleasant weather, but while many people are hopping on the pie-wagon, I'd like to re-suggest the cupcake.

Over Christmas, I had the chance to purchase some amazing spice blends and extracts from a local spice artisan, Maison Cote. My greatest find, among many yummy spice blends, was their Peach Extract. Distilled from real peaches, their peach extract is like summer in a bottle. I whipped up a batch of simple and easy cupcakes using this extract, and topped them off with a light, lemon frosting. Simply put, these treats are pure summer, in cupcake form.

I based this recipe on the Joy of Baking's basic cupcake recipe, but tweaked it to make it peachy keen!

Simply Peachy Cupcakes
  • 1/2 cup (113 grams) unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 2/3 cup (130 grams) granulated white sugar
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp pure peach extract
  • 1 1/2 cups (195 grams) all purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/4 cup (60 ml) milk
Buttercream Frosting
  • 2 cups (230 grams) confectioners sugar (icing or powdered sugar), sifted
  • 1/2 cup (113 grams) unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 2 tsp lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp milk or light cream
  • orange food colouring
Directions
  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and line 12 muffin cups with paper liners.
  • With an electric mixer, or with a hand mixer, beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the vanilla extract and lemon zest.
  • In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt.
  • With the mixer on low speed, alternately add the flour mixture and milk, in three additions, beginning and ending with the flour. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed.
  • Evenly fill the muffin cups with the batter and bake for about 18-20 minutes or until set and a toothpick inserted into a cupcake comes out clean. Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool. Once the cupcakes have completely cooled, frost with icing.
Buttercream Frosting
  • In an electric mixer, or with a hand mixer, cream the butter until smooth and well blended.
  • Add the vanilla extract. With the mixer on low speed, gradually beat in the sugar.
  • Add the milk and beat on high speed until frosting is light and fluffy (about 3-4 minutes).
  • Add a little more milk or sugar, if needed. Tint the frosting with desired food color









Monday, February 22, 2010

.bad blogger, bad!.

OK, listen up Internet! Starting today, I will be posting to you more, because people I've never met and have never even stumbled upon this blog NEED to hear my inane ramblings about food and injustice (although not necessarily in that order). But seriously: call it a new years resolution or whatever you like, but there will be more posts this year, starting with this one:

If ads for women's products (that, lets face it, lie to us and then we buy them anyways to soothe deep rooted fears of inadequacy) couldn't lie and were quirky comedies, what would they sound like? The clever, and righteous Madeline Olsen takes a stab at what such a world might look like. <3

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

.tis the season for frosty coffee.


If there's one thing that springs to mind this time of year, with the flowers in full bloom, the days growing longer and the temperature rising, it's how lovely an iced coffee would be right about...now. I'll be honest, I spend a little more than I should on pre-fabaccinos and other assorted caffeinated iced delights. What can I say, walking down the street on a warm spring day, I find myself uncontrollably driven through the doors of a coffee shop I may pass, in search of chilly coffee bliss. Bad habits aside, its also at this time of the year that I start making two pots of coffee a day. One for my usual morning pick-me-up, and another extra strong batch for iced coffee. making two pots in the morning not only saves you time later on (as you wait by the fridge, tapping your toes waiting for your coffee to chill), but also save you major coin in your coffer. Please don't mistake this particular post as another 'reccesionista' article. I was broke before the so-called reccession, and I'm still poor now. And even if I wasn't, a dollar saved is a dollar put towards more important things in life, like that new NARS lipgloss or perhaps that rad Kensie Girl cardigan that's just been reduced. *twitch*

Bunny's Bad Ass Cold Coffee
  • 6 heaping scoops strong coffee (I perfer Kicking Horse's 'Pacific Pipeline')
  • 6 cups water
  • sugar (to taste)
  • milk type substance
  • ice
  1. Make your coffee in your coffee making apparatus of choice, although for this recipie, for some reason I find a drip coffee maker works best.
  2. Once your coffee has brewed, add your sugar and remove from heat source. This part may take you a couple tries to get your coffee just right. I don't normally like sugar in my hot coffee, but a little sugar cuts the bitterness of cold coffee in such a delightful way. I normally add about 1 tablespoon of sugar to my 6 cups of brewed coffee.
  3. Now that your coffee has cooled down sufficiently, transfer to your fave decanter and stow it away in the fridge. After about 2-3 hours min, your coffee should be cold enough to enjoy. Grab a tall glass and toss in some ice. Pour coffee over ice about halfway full. Top your glass with your chosen milk-style beverage and give a quick stir. Remember, you've made this coffee uber strong, so you will want to add more milk than normal. Sometimes, I perfer even weaker coffee and will water my glass down with ice cold water before adding my milk. Play around. Its your damn coffee. Do with it what you will, and enjoy! Makes 6 glasses, keeps (ie. tastes good!) 2 days.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

.oldies but goodies.


The scent of today's wind was sweet and spicy, tinted with grass clippings and cherry blossoms. I was reminded of some whimsies I've knitted over the past few springs and thought I would share them here, with you kittens!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

.winter sangria.


I'm just joshing you, and so is any other liar trying to pawn off their uppity 'new' festive drink. This here is mulled wine, a traditional Bevvy that has pushed to the wayside by snooty beverages like the prosh eggnog, the bratty pomegranate-crantini or the snobby, albeit delicious, buttered rum. I suppose in many ways mulled wine is like sangria: theres the fruit, a shot or two of liqueur and depending on how you make your sangria, a little bit of sugar. However, mulled wine isn't winter sangria. Mulled wine has its own thing going, namely a medley of fragrant spices, that make it a distinct and tasty beverage in its own right and should never have to stoop to a name change just to get noticed.

Mulled wine was thought up by poor folk who had to drink crappy swill at the best of times, and even crappier swill at the worst of times. In the winter, these poor folks would jazz up their brew with herbs and spices and warm it all up to keep the chill off their TB afflicted bones. Nowadays, its another fabulous way to get tipsy during the holiday season and remain classy while doing so. Enjoy!

Mulled Wine
Yield 6-8 servings
Time about 20 minutes
Tools
  • large non-reactive pot
  • strainer
  • stainless steel or glass ladle
Ingredients
  • 1 bottle of red wine (I used 1.5 litres)
  • 1 lemon, sliced
  • 1 orange, sliced
  • 2-4 cinnamon sticks
  • 4-6 whole cloves
  • ½-1 t ground nutmeg
  • 1-2 oz brandy
  • ½ brown sugar (You can use white, but...ew....)
  • 1-3 c water
Directions Heat the wine over medium-low heat. When it's warm to the touch, add the fruit, spices, and brandy. When hot, taste and optional sugar or water.

Ladle into hearty mugs (straining the spices off) and serve warm, garnished with a fresh cinnamon stick, orange or lemon wedge.

Notes This is a very flexible recipe; change the ingredients to suit your own tastes.

Use reasonably priced dry red wine, such as burgundy, merlot, or cabernet sauvignon.

Never let the mulled wine boil! You'll boil off the alcohol and that just won't do!

This recipe was swiped and adapted from: http://www.theveggietable.com/recipes/mulledwine.html

Monday, March 31, 2008

.moose, elk, large land mammal in dish cloth form.


I whipped up this dishcloth based on a pattern I found here. Its not very moosey, more elky. But I love it nonetheless. I say dishcloths need more animals of the northern variety on them.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

.expletive NOT deleted tea cozy.

I based this on the pattern in Stitch'n'Bitch, but decided to go with a stronger feeling for my choice of wording:

Thursday, March 27, 2008

.wee beasties.

I've been loving this book. I was especially taken with the wee monster project. In fact, I loved it so much, I started modifying the pattern to create an army of felted critters.





Tuesday, February 20, 2007

.10 Ways to Personalize Your Space, Without Losing Your Damage Deposit.


I've always thought of renting as a form of domestic purgatory, to be lived out until a time, preferably before the age of 30, when I inevitably become the proud owner of my own house. Alas, the time spent in the residential limbo can stretch out longer than one hopes, depending on the housing or job market where you live. Maybe the houses start at $400,000 and the average job in your city starts at no more than $10/hr, with the average rental costing you a minimum of $600/mo, not including those precious utilities. Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything. Whatever the case may be, you may be finding yourself living in an impersonal apartment or outdated basement suite for just a tad longer than you'd hoped, and your landlord is less than keen on that bathroom renovation project you've been pestering him about. What's a renter with a sense of style to do?

Here are my 10 favorite ways to personalize a temporary space, without breaking the budget or sacrificing style.

1. Paint. Paint. Paint.
Probably one of the most 'permanent' things you can do to a rental space is to throw up some paint on those god-awful eggshell white walls. Unless you decide to go with tip #4, the white-wash walls have become all to familiar a fixture in your life as a renter. Most Landlords and some property managers will be fine with a renter changing the wall colour, provided the renter agrees to paint the walls back to their neutral colour before moving. If your Landlord is down with your desire to colourize your walls, do it. Check local store fliers for paint sales.

2. Fabric.
Swaths of fabric can create a unifying theme in your house and can be use to dress up those disgusting plastic blinds that came with (and must stay with) your apartment. Pickup a couple old chairs from your local thrift store, grab your staple gun and set to re-upholstering the seats of those chairs to compliment the colour you've just convinced your property manager to let you use. Create room dividers by attaching fabrics to equally spaced hooks in the ceiling and tie back with strips of matching or complimentary fabric. Create pillows to tie in your furniture to your pad. The best thing about using fabric to give your rental a face lift, is that unlike paint, fabric only takes a minute to take down and can go with you to your next domicile, and can be turned into other embellishments.

3. You Can Take It With You when You Go.
Be conscious of the furniture purchases you make. You may not be able to afford that matching dinette set right now or the couch with matching armchair, but by sticking with a theme, you'll find that as you replace your thrift store/spring cleanup/curbside treasures, you're style will start to emerge, and furthermore, will be completely detachable from your current residence, thus making it perfectly transferable (or so we hope) to your next rental. Of course, theres always a chance that your savvy Scandinavian styled furnishings will clash when you move into your "wood" paneled basement suite, but your furniture will last longer than your temporary digs and contrary to popular belief, that horrible wood paneling that covered the walls of my living room growing up, actually look quite nice with a few coats of paint slathered on top.

4. Minimalism.
The alternative to banishing those white-void walls is to embrace them. White goes with everything (even chocolate brown) and can be worn after labour day, despite what your grandma told you. So you've been purchasing funky coloured couches and chairs? No problem! The white walls will make your furniture choices seem like pieces of art. Who'd want to distract from your large lips sofa with a taupe wall when that plush monstrosity is so wonderfully offset by the neutrality of white walls? Gone the oh-so-en-vogue modern-mid-century route? No need to invest in afore mentioned wood paneling. White walls are visual way of saying "walls? What walls?" Keeping the white walls that came with your place and keeping the furniture limited and your space free of clutter says "I enjoy the serenity of minimalist design". No one will ever guess that what you're thinking is "I've eaten Mr. Noodles for 4 weeks straight now. But DAMN my digs are swank". A warning: if you love your nicknacks and love your frills and bows, the minimalist approach is not for you. And thats okay.

5. Mirror, mirror.
Mirrors go up and mirrors come down. Most mirrors can be hung up using nothing more than a picture hook, which means little to no clean up for you, the tenant, when you move. For those 'enjoying' the small space, big style feel of a bachelor's pad (re: glorified shoe-box), mirrors can make you place seem larger, and more airy. Use mirrors to reflect light into your basement suite, or, use small mirrors to create a focal point in lieu of art (a poster does not count as art unless it has been matted and framed. Blue-Tak does not qualify.)

6.Pillow Talk.
I mentioned above using fabric to create pillows, but I felt that they deserved their own category. I am a pillow freak. I've downsized my pillow collection in the past year and am sorely missing them from my new space. Pillows add comfort to any space, from minimalist or cozy cabin kitsch and can be used to bridge the gap between the furniture you've brought with you and the space you've just acquired. Pillow cases are relatively inexpensive and can be bought almost anywhere, from the thrift store to your local val-u-mart. Or, depending on your level of sewing wizardry, you can make them.

7. House Plants.
Whether you're a macramé maven, or an orchid enthusiast, greenery says a lot about the person whose space they share. Every time I go into a home without plants, I assume the house is in transition. A house without plants to me, is dead, stuffy and impersonal. There is a stupidly wide variety of low-maintenance house plants available. Most tropicals are easy to care for, favour indoor environments like apartments and come in a wide variety of styles and colours. You may not be able to take your veggie garden when you move, or even have room for a planter box, but indoor plants more often than not will adjust to their new location as easily as you will. Indoor plants say "this is a unique home", not "this is unit #304 in Brentwood Manor, which looks eerily like units #305, #306 AND #307, not to mention every other suite on the west side of the building."

8. Flooring.
Area rugs are a great way to demarcate an area. Many apartments have dining rooms that turn into living rooms. Area rugs centre the areas you are trying to create, without ripping up the floor boards. If you're living with hardwood floors (you lucky bastards), rugs will also help protect your floors from getting scuffed up. Every hardwood floor rental I've ever lived in or visited was in poor shape from years of abuse by other tenants. Rugs can help cover up worn spots and distract from gouges in the wood. If you are unfortunate enough to be stuck with carpet, which is often ugly, stained, industrial or some other horrible adjective, rugs can also distract from their fibrous surroundings. Who is going to notice that horrendous industrial grey berber carpet when the large, fluffy, mock fur area rug is attracting all the attention? Who will notice that water stain in the middle of your floor when its covered by a slick damask print rug? And when its time to move? Roll the thing up and away you go.

9. Lighting.
Most light covers are removable. That green glass shade in the foyer of your suite is not the end of the world. Pack up the coverings that came with your place and pull out your own. Socket converters can turn light sockets into electrical outlets, making the perfect opportunity for paper lanterns that are popping up all over the place, not just in Chinatown. Floor lamps are movable, cost-effective ways of changing the lighting options available in your space that are readily removed when you're ready to fly the coop. Holiday lights aren't just for the holidays anymore. Strands of fireproof lights can be strung across entryways, folded into drapes (or those fabric room dividers mentioned above) or wrapped around columns. Just like the paper lanterns, there is a mind boggling variety of mini-lights with assorted coverings available in decor shops, val-u-marts and hardware stores.

10. Accessorize with flare.
Even the minimalist needs a few knicks and few knacks to separate their home from a staged rental suite. The best thing about accessories is that unlike those shows on TeeVee, you don't need to (and shouldn't) be running out to buy impersonal baubles from Pier 1 to add personality to your temporary digs. Just be careful not to go overboard, or you'll end up with an apartment that looks more like a 1st Year dormitory than a home-sweet-home. Put up one or two carefully selected photos (organize the rest in matching photo boxes in case someone really does want to see ever photo you took on your prom night or that camping trip you took with your buddies). Photo boxes can be bought ANYWHERE or made from shoe boxes covered in decoupage. If you can't decide which trinkets to display and which to toss, again, boxes, boxes, boxes. A set of three old suitcases decreasing in size make great storage and have an old world feeling, not to mention are a playful way to bring attention to transitory nature of your life.

Friday, October 27, 2006

.a little bit about the bitch-goddess.

Tired of binaries, constrained by the archaic notion of biological gender and clinging to trappings of femme-ininity like a life preserver, The Housewife Antichrist is one feminist-identified woman's attempt to make sense of her life.

The Housewife Antichrist despises dualisms, but recognizing their allure to the human psyche's obsessive need for organization.

The Housewife Antichrist identifies as (but not limited to): activist, admirer, aggressive, ally, bigender, bisensual, bottom, brunette, chick, chubby chaser, confidant, cute, do-me queen, FTF, fabulous, fag hag, female, female-assigned, feminist, femme, flirt, fourth gender, friend, friend of Dorothy, gender anarchist, gender deviant, gender expressive, gender subversive, gendered, girl, glittery, grrl, hairy, hard femme, heteroerotic, heteroflexible, heteroqueer, high femme, hippie, kinky, me, ms., peoplesexual, polysnuggler, poufbunny, pro-sex feminist, queerly straight, radical, sacred whore, sex positive, sex radical, she-bitch, stone femme, straight?, trans-oblivious, versatile, wannabe, XTF, YES!

The Housewife Antichrist recognizes that she is contradictory, but then, life itself is a contradiction.

The Housewife Antichrist does not pretend to represent all feminists or all feminisms. She is only one woman, and can only speak from her own experience as a white, female assigned lady living in the sphere of Western knowledge in the global North. As such, the Housewife Antichrist's understanding of the world is as limited as anyone else's.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

.testes, testes...if only i had a hammer.



...my blog in a delightfully crunchy nutshell...



...more to come...